Dirty Old Men

Whenever I need to do some thinking, I go to the river. I love to watch the water flow by and see the farms in the distance. The Boy likes the river, too. This morning, after baseball practice, he asked me to take him to the river. He likes to read the Lewis and Clark marker and try to match points on the map to landmarks on the far bank. He also likes to climb the mounds. He even has a special spot that he says is great for meditating. It's on one of the Indian mounds in the center of 4 rocks. He says if you sit right in the center of the rocks, nothing will bother you. The bees land next to him and don't sting him. He's my little philosopher.

When we got there this morning, there was an elderly gentleman walking his 3-legged dog. The Boy petted the dog a little bit and talked baseball to the man, then he ran off to meditate. That left me talking to the guy. Here's what I found out.

1. He's an 81 year old retired electrical worker and veteran.
2. His wife died of cancer when she was only 48, leaving him with 2 kids in college and 2 in high school.
3. When he sees his wife in the hereafter, he's gonna kick her because she RUINED their son. She always told the son to watch out for all the girls that were gonna pester him. So he thought women were bad and now he doesn't like females. (I think he was telling me his son is gay.)
4. He hasn't talked to his daugher, Janet, in over a year. She's a doctor and she married a man she dated years ago in college. He expressed his opinion of the man, so now they don't talk.
5. His other daughter, Jean Ann, married an Iranian man. Thank God they're divorced now, but the man valued computers over sports and never played catch with his little boy. So now this guy has a grandson that doesn't play sports at all.
6. His dog lost it's leg because it barked at a guy on a motorcycle and the guy ran over it ON PURPOSE.
7. He's never gonna get married again because he's too set in his ways. He does, however, have a lady friend but she's in the hospital right now. Her damned grandkids didn't even realize she'd had a stroke.

There's more. Much more. I know about his childhood, his hobbies, where he grew up, went to school, worked, etc. But here's the funny part. When I told him we had to go now, he hit on me. I kid you not. The old fart started telling me how pretty he thinks I am! I laughed and told him he shouldn't be driving with his vision impairment. He got really serious trying to convince me that I'm some kind of raving beauty. The raving part I'll give him. But not so much the beauty. Anyway, I walked away smiling, so he did his job well.