The Gremlins Are Back

We keep the thermostat at home turned to 68 in the winter. Sometimes we turn it to 70, but never higher. Today my husband found the thermostat set on 74. Seventy-Freaking-Four! That's just like throwing money away. I might as well buy name brand toilet paper or see a movie at the theater. Let's go for broke and throw out the leftovers. What an extravagance. I know it wasn't me who changed the thermostat. He knows it wasn't him who changed it. I doubt my 9 year old knows what a thermostat is. So it was the gremlins again. You realize, of course, that this means war.

Gremlins

There are monstrous little pranksters in my office. Though the building is toasty, my particular space has been freezing cold. It happens to be close to the side door where the smokers enter and exit, so I was blaming the coldness on that. I borrowed a space heater from an uber-prepared coworker and got my office all cozy. Then I realized that someone had closed my vent. I know it wasn't me because until about an hour ago, I was unaware that I HAVE a vent. Seriously. I've been in this same office for several years and it was never this cold, so I know a gremlin fiddled with my heretofore unknown vent. But that's not all. I unplugged the borrowed space heater and took it back to its rightful owner. When I came back in my office, my clock radio was all dark and quiet. Turns out the outlet that was functional five minutes ago is now non-functional. Gremlins. It has to be. I remain electricity-less on my west wall. I hesitate to plug anything more into my east wall because I already have a power strip on there with my computer, printer, monitor, lamp, and Christmas lights. The radio would be a temptation to fate. Perhaps you can come and serenade me so that I don't have to be without music. Also, every ten minutes or so, tell me what time it is.

UPDATE: My most awesome friend, Bruce, showed me where the breaker box is. There's a closet inside the men's restroom with the controls to practically the whole building! Now I have the power! Electricity has been restored to my west wall. Just think, if I had male parts, I would have known this all along.

Santa's Coming

Dear Santa,
I'm glad to report that I have been very good this year, so I'm expecting to be well rewarded with gifts. I've been kind to others, except for the people that I have mercilessly tortured throughout the year. I've been extremely generous, except for hiding treats that I refuse to share. I have been giving of my time, as long as I have nothing better or more fun to do. In short, I have been awesome. And humble. Extremely humble. Bring on the material rewards*!

Sincerely,
MoJo

*Failure to provide the aforementioned rewards shall result in legal action.