This is new information to those of you who do not work in my field, but self advocates and my savviest coworkers have long known the truth. People who have disabilities are held to a higher standard than people who do not.
If a person who has a disability lives in a group setting, he is typically expected to make his bed every morning. Do you?
If a person who has a disability wants to have control of her own finances, she is expected to demonstrate fiscal responsibility by paying for needs first and then wants. Do you?
If a person who has a disability puts on too much weight, the doctor recommends a diet that staff enforce. There is no choice for him except to either hide and horde food or to follow the diet. Which would you choose?
If a person who has a disability gets mad, she is expected to maintain a calm temperment and work through the issue in a manner that is respectful to the other person. Do you?
Today my friend Pam and I were discussing a situation in which a person who has a disability was provoked beyond reason and reacted with physical aggression. While we understood and empathized with her anger, the professional part of us mumbled the platitudes about there being no excuse for hurting other people.
After a while, we got to thinking. Why do we have to teach her to be perfect? Can't we just teach her to be sneaky?
Don't hit your roommate when she calls you a nigger, scream really loud and then tell your staff that SHE hit YOU.
Having brothers and sisters taught a lot of us how to survive in the real world when you have to deal with jerks. (Apologies to my brothers and sister. They all grew up to be wonderful people, despite the scars they inflicted on me during childhood.) Sometimes the rational approach doesn't work. And it's no fun. Sure we can all pretend to be grown ups and handle conflict in a dignified manner, but failing that, let's help people figure out how not to get caught.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Silver Linings
There is so much going on and most of it is too personal to put in a blog, so that's why I haven't had the energy to get on here. Mostly it involves my husband, so it's not my story to tell.
But despite all of that, there is some great stuff in the world. For instance, my granddaughter. Isn't she a cutie pie? She's the one on the left. This was taken by her other grandma at a concert in Bakersfield, CA.
Also, we adopted a cat. The Boy named her Sparta after some cat he watches on YouTube. She is the most affectionate cat I've ever seen. She has a wonderful personality and has claimed The Boy as her own personal cuddle partner. That just makes him happy. The Boy has taken a gazillion and three pictures of her, but they are downloaded onto another computer, so I'll have to post those later.
Today I took The Boy to get an eye exam. He doesn't need glasses yet, but he is far sighted in both eyes and has an astigmatism in the right eye, so eventually he will need specs. They took pictures of his retina, so that was pretty cool. The eye doc was very patient in showing The Boy the pics on the computer and explaining the optic nerve and blood vessels. He even showed The Boy other people's eye pictures to show how the eye changes as we age. That doctor has the soul of a teacher. There are still good people in the world.
Tomorrow I'm going to Six Flags with my two sons. My older son works there, so he will know his way around the park and can get me in as his guest. The Boy is getting in with a ticket he got for reading a certain number of books. So other than food and gas, this is practically free.
But despite all of that, there is some great stuff in the world. For instance, my granddaughter. Isn't she a cutie pie? She's the one on the left. This was taken by her other grandma at a concert in Bakersfield, CA.
Also, we adopted a cat. The Boy named her Sparta after some cat he watches on YouTube. She is the most affectionate cat I've ever seen. She has a wonderful personality and has claimed The Boy as her own personal cuddle partner. That just makes him happy. The Boy has taken a gazillion and three pictures of her, but they are downloaded onto another computer, so I'll have to post those later.
Today I took The Boy to get an eye exam. He doesn't need glasses yet, but he is far sighted in both eyes and has an astigmatism in the right eye, so eventually he will need specs. They took pictures of his retina, so that was pretty cool. The eye doc was very patient in showing The Boy the pics on the computer and explaining the optic nerve and blood vessels. He even showed The Boy other people's eye pictures to show how the eye changes as we age. That doctor has the soul of a teacher. There are still good people in the world.
Tomorrow I'm going to Six Flags with my two sons. My older son works there, so he will know his way around the park and can get me in as his guest. The Boy is getting in with a ticket he got for reading a certain number of books. So other than food and gas, this is practically free.
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